The Wisdom of Heartache

The Wisdom of HeartacheHello Everyone,

Here we are at the end of the Art of Everyday Happiness summit, which at first seemed like an overwhelming task, simply because I hadn’t done it before. What a labor of love and a roller coaster ride the whole experience has been! I learned so much! I try to focus on the what makes me feel the best, gives me butterflies, inspires, delights and expands me, asking my clients to work in their own “zone of juicy genius” too, but life isn’t always without intense and darker times, is it?

Little did I know that my positive, uplifted, Coach Happy self would be utterly tested and brought into the stinging grasp of a painful break up. Now it seemed, the shit just got real.

It was not lost on me that this was exactly why I do this work, organized a summit like this, to help myself and others transform their mindsets and emotions to experience new levels of being. This is where the rubber meets the road, right?

How timely, and a bit sardonic of the universe to give me such a “gift” at the end of thirty days of uplifting, happy, and inspirational experts who, one by one, shared their own methods, tricks and wisdoms they used themselves to traverse the dark waters of a wounded heart, tough times, and “loss”. What a plot twist!

As I resisted and cried, not wanting to accept the end of the relationship, I also knew in the deepest part of myself that it was the right time to move on from it, however panicky and crappy that felt. I forgot what a kick in the gut times 10,000 a heartbreak can be, but I also knew that I was being given an experience that held a powerful lesson of insight for myself, and ultimately others because having a hurt heart is part of being human.

Knowing I survived a break-up before and knew happiness again, still didn’t make the ache go away. I knew I’d have to be patient and kind to myself and endure this temporary grief by leaning in to face it, taste it and greet it with a wide open heart, ready to receive all flavors of experience. I could not deal with it in the escapist, self abusive ways I had in my past. I’d have to use all the wonderful tools I’d just been given.

I knew I had to surrender, let go, get messy, and feel embarrassed and foolish. I couldn’t stop any of this. It’s just part of the process. So I yielded to the rawness tenderly, ate whatever I wanted and watched a whole lot of Game of Thrones. It was a tough weekend and wasn’t always without haunting thoughts and self pity, but I made it and the heavy tears subsided eventually.

I know despite the pain and missing this person, I would go on. I could appreciate the potent connection we shared, as a gift. Although I couldn’t see it now, there would be an astoundingly beautiful connection in my life still to come, because that’s what I want in my life and the universe always conspires to give us our heart’s deepest wishes.

I also learned that there is something bigger than the ache of loss. There is rebirth. As the bud of acceptance begins to bloom in my heart, I feel so supported, tapped in and loved by the big Love that encompasses all experience. It offers us rest and a greater capacity to keep open, brave hearts on the glittering and gritty paths we take in our lives.

I suppose those wonderful interviews were perfectly timed and just what I needed to help me on my way. I am grateful.

Wherever you are my friends on your journey, whether it’s the best of times or worst of times, you are perfect exactly as you are and where you are. Ask for help if you need to, be kind to yourself. Everything is going to be ok. How good to know.

If you feel inspired to connect, I’d love to hear from you.

About Lela

Lela is a transformational happiness coach committed to helping others gain greater control over their thoughts and emotions and experience profound happiness and well-being. She will help you align with your bigger purpose, define your passions (even if you’re not clear what they are), Co-create a “lifemap” so you can confidently move forward towards your deepest dreams, step by step, and embody the life you desire.

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